I purchased “Homecoming” by Thema Bryant after it caught my eye in my Amazon feed with very positive reviews. I did not know her and her impressive curriculum, and I became curious.
What I Liked about the idea of “Homecoming”
This book aims to guide readers on a journey towards self-connection and healing from trauma. Bryant’s metaphor of ‘homecoming’ powerfully illustrates the process of reconnecting with one’s authentic self that most of us have to go through.
This idea of homecoming resonated with me : for a long time I had a sense of being ‘homeless’ within myself and even in the real, physical world. I now see it as a sign of disconnection with myself and others, but I could not articulate it like that at the time. All I knew is that no place felt like home.
Bryant’s warm, empathetic tone is a highlight of her work, distinguishing it from the more clinical and academic texts I’ve read. You can see it with her use of Maya Angelou’s poignant quote: “I long, as does every human being, to be at home whenever I find myself. The ache for home lives in all of us.” This sentiment captures the book’s essence.
Invisible losses
Her chapter on mourning invisible losses was particularly moving. When we loose a loved one, people around us recognize and honor our loss. But it’s very difficult to find empathy when what we are grieving is, for example, the absence of a loving father, or the opportunity to pursue a career we really wanted, or failed relationships because of our traumatic pasts.
It’s a rarely discussed topic, and Bryant’s words struck a chord there. We have so many of these, frankly. At time it seems like there is an endless supply of invisible losses to grieve. But we do, we feel tremendously sad, and the then one day, the world is more colorful than ever. Grief is a powerful medicine, and Thema Bryant shows it well.
The social side of Trauma
Almost at the end of the book, Dr Bryant shares her view on the social aspect of trauma, particularly for those of us belonging to marginalized groups. Being a victim of violence because of one’s gender, race, sexual orientation or disabilities, discrimination, subtle or non so subtle put downs, not having access to opportunities, all of this also creates trauma.
And the worst thing is that this social, structural side of trauma has completely been ignored by psychologists who prefer to focus on individuals and what they can do for their mental health.
I’m a strong believer in our responsibility to heal and change ourselves. But sometimes, we are not the only ones who need to change. The sad thing is, regarding trauma, victims (veterans, and then women) pushed hard to change our society without help from doctors or psychologists. Tellingly, apart from Thema Bryant the only other psychologist I know who talked about this collective responsibility is Judith Hermann (and the fact that they are both women is not a coincidence).
So her inclusive approach is another strong point. Bryant stresses that psychological wellness is a universal right, with special attention to marginalized groups and their unique social challenges. Plus, she sees it is her role as a psychologist to share knowledge and insights outside of the therapy room. I agree with her: the therapy room is indeed quite an exclusive club, and we need to find other ways to help people.
What I Didn’t Like About “Homecoming”
Despite agreeing with most of its content (you know, I never told myself , “this is not true!”), and at times finding it great, I could not fully resonate with this book.
One issue, I believe, is its attempt to cater to everyone – encompassing all types of trauma, populations, and symptoms. It was sometimes difficult to recognise myself in this book.
Also, the frequent use of imperatives, like “Do not align with people, activities, or attitudes harmful to your well-being,” feels somewhat simplistic. (As if I hadn’t considered that before, really …) It would have been more helpful to explore the complex dynamics of toxic relationships and why they’re challenging to leave – in other words more depth, even if it means covering less ground.
Overall Thoughts
While the book has many valid and a few great ideas, I wouldn’t recommend it as a starting point to heal from trauma. To be frank there are other books I found significantly more helpful. If, on the other hand, you have read your classics already, Homecoming is a good read to further your healing.
Stay well and keep growing, dear reader!