Facing love addiction

In a nutshell, love addiction is being dependent on a relationship, even though the relationship itself is a source of pain.

Sometimes, the pain is about your partner being physically, sexually, or emotionally abusive. Sometimes, it is about a partner who openly does not love you. It can be that your partner is in the throws of another addiction, such as alcoholism, workaholism, or sex addiction. The issue may me narcissism. Repeated betrayals. A loved one being married to someone else. Whatever.

Life in this relationship is painful, chaotic, unhealthy. On some level, you know that the relationship is not good for you. You may even be clear that it is destroying you. And yet, you find it impossible to walk away. You sometimes make attempts to do so, only to realize that ending the relationship is truly unbearable. You go back, and now on top of everything you despise yourself.

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Signs you are depressed

Depression from the inside

This first post on depression described its diagnostic criteria. It’s more of an external point of view, very useful to understand quickly if someone suffers from the Black Dog. It’s also very interesting for doctors and clinical psychologists exchanging information about a patient or clinical studies.

But these standardized descriptions do not tell what depression feels like from the inside. And I believe sharing this inner experience is important. It’s easier for us to relate to emotions and thoughts than to a DSM 5 list of symptoms.

Most of us spend a lot of time and energy criticizing what we believe are our character traits (along the lines of : stop being so sensitive, lazy, procrastinating…), not realizing that they are classical symptoms of a disease.

And it is true the distinction is difficult to see especially when we have been living with depression for a long time, sometimes from early childhood.

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Are you depressed ? (the quiz)

How I met depression

I spent my 17th year like many other young women: obsessed with a young man. Unfortunately, the guy was showing no interest. At all.

At the time, I still believed that I could change someone else’s feelings with unlimited love, patience, and sheer persistence – I’m sighting as I’m writing this, but well, you know, I was 17.

And then, the inevitable happened: nothing. The guy continued showing no interest. But my obsession turned into a nighmare, and I was getting worse. At some point, I had the distinct impression I was going crazy.

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