Normal marital hatred

It is a rare event that I read an interview, and I happen to agree with every single word.

Terrence Real, are you for real ?

In his interview about his book Us, I recognized some of my old thoughts : for example, we believe we have to hand over an improved financial situation to our children. But in reality, it is more an emotional and psychological imperative than a financial one. This idea guides me every day in the choices I make for my children.

Some concepts are relatively new to me, but I bump into them repeatedly these days.

(Do you experience this also? You get to a new stage in your recovery, and you read and hear what you just discovered everywhere ? You don’t even remember seeing it before ? ).

The concept of the frightened, immature child, who gets triggered and takes over our behaviour while the wise adult in us watches in horror is my current thing. And by that I do not mean only my thinking, I do mean also my life. To tell you the truth, it is humbling.

And then, there are some real new ideas for me in this article, like the one of “Normal Marital Hatred”.

First time I read of this, but I understood perfectly well. No need to elaborate. Terrence Real explains that he has been talking about it for 20 years, and not one felt the need to have a lengthy explanation…

Yeah, we get it.

And just to reassure people around here who are not yet experienced with long term relationships: it’s temporary (the hatred, not the relationship).

Reading Terrence Real’s interview, I’m asking myself one important question: are we all evolving in the same direction, so that we converge more or less to the same conclusion with time ?

Or more simply, do some people think and feel like us?

Regardless, I thought It was a good idea to buy the book (Us, by Terrence Real). You can find the review here.

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